What is the controversy in 13 Reasons Why?

Over the last couple of days Gigglez and I have binge watched “13 Reasons Why” (https://www.netflix.com/title/80117470). The general premise is simple, yet quite complex.  A high school junior commits suicide, but before she does, records a series of audio tapes. These tapes involve all of those that contributed to her decision to end her life. Each person on the tapes are to listen to them and pass them onto the next person.

I think that this may be the most important series that I have watched in quite some time. The level of passion in the work harkens back to Dead Poets Society. Reaching deeply into the high school minds.

I am a fan of what Stephen King says about banned or censored works:

“Censorship and the suppression of reading materials are rarely about family values and almost always about control about who is
snapping the whip, who is saying no, and who is saying go. Censorship’s bottom line is this: if the novel Christine offends me, I don’t want just to make sure it’s kept from my kid; I want to make sure it’s kept from your kid, as well, and all the kids. This bit of intellectual arrogance, undemocratic and as old as time, is best expressed this way: “If it’s bad for me and my family, it’s bad for everyone’s family.”

Yet when books are run out of school classrooms and even out
of school libraries as a result of this idea, I’m never much disturbed not as a citizen, not as a writer, not even as a schoolteacher . . . which I used to be. What I tell kids is, Don’t get mad, get even. Don’t spend time waving signs or carrying petitions around the neighborhood. Instead, run, don’t walk, to the nearest nonschool library or to the local bookstore and get whatever it was that they banned. Read whatever they’re trying to keep out of your eyes and your brain, because that’s exactly what you need to know.” 
― Stephen King

So, as controversy is starting to stir, we decided to see why. What is the idea that “they” did not want us to see?  Was it the sex, drugs, suicide, free thought, bullying, or what? The negative press is asserting that the show is somehow condoning suicide, rape, drugs, and alcohol.  We simply did not find that to be the case. We found it to be illuminating the problems rather than glorifying them.

This series draws you in tightly with a broad spectrum of demographics and personalities. The cast was convincing in their roles.  Their portrayals caused emotional response and reflection for me.  It may be too hot of a topic for the various award giving entities to give the appropriate accolades.

Katherine Langford plays the role of the girl who chose to end her life. The life, death, and everything in between had such vibrancy it was the girl next door.

Dylan Minnette, the male lead, pulled of his role to such quality that it had me thinking of my youth. Back came the memories of the girls that I wished that I had the courage to approach. The cheerleader in math class, everyday taunting my middle school mind.

I think the one who stood out most for me was Kate Walsh. She played the grieving mother, struggling to come to terms with what happened with her cherished daughter. Why did she lose her daughter and could there have been anything that she or the school could have done to prevent it.  I could see in her the pain of all of the mothers who have lost a child. I have enjoyed her work since Gray’s Anatomy, but this role was far beyond the characters that I have seen her in before.  I know that she has kids, and that may have been part of what propelled the emotional buy-in that we saw. It was an utterly stunning role to see her play out.

As the series unfolds and we see more and more of the factors come to light it is difficult to watch as you know what is about to happen.  I am being mindful of spoilers so there is much more that I would like to say, but, it would be better for you to watch for yourself.  The episodes delve into areas that we wish did not exist, and for some, pretend that they don’t.  Guess what people, kids are mean, bullies exist, sex is had (consensual and rape), drugs and alcohol gets consumed.  When you watch this series (and I hope that you do if you have the strength) take the time to watch the follow-up episode.  The breakdown of the rationale for the way that certain scenes were carried out was quite valuable.

My wife and I were both reminded of those that we lost in our youth. The names, and faces from the past. We lost people, almost lost people and have had some that we reached out to when we were worried. In the end we cannot help but wonder how many times we missed a friend in need.  We also have to think about how something we may have said, or NOT said could have nudged someone to a darker place without meaning to, or realizing it.

Where does this leave our society? We need to be more thoughtful in how we interact and raise our kids. We have to be open, mindful, watchful, and communicative.  It is too bad that we cannot instill the golden rule upon our kids and have it stick with them for their entire lives. We are not perfect, nor are our kids.

 

Penn State – who will pay for this?

With all of the abuse, dismissive attitudes, and coverup at Penn State, should their football program be suspended for a year or two?

Title IX appears to have an amendment called the Clery Act. The Clery Act makes sure that schools reports crimes that students involved students on or near campus.

Can a large university such as Penn State survive the revenue cuts that it would suffer if it could not have it’s football team? Or worse, what if they lost ALL sports, or financial aid in its entirety?

The school needs something to ensure that they will not permit any kind of cover up like this in the future, but to what extent? How badly do the students and surrounding community needs to pay for this?

Any financial penalty will be carried by the students and their families. killing the football program will hurt the school and again the same population pays as well as the people and businesses around the school.

Weekend summary

Good morning!

What a productive weekend.
After I left off from Saturday’s post, we had a really good time at the bar Saturday night. I did have the displeasure of having the singer for one of the bands cup check me while I was not looking.

We did block out our wedding night so that the bar will not have a band, but karaoke so we can sing our butts off.
Yesterday, for my birthday proper… there was a drama explosion and Kizzody, his girlfriend and daughter ended up moving out. They still have some stuff to pick up, but I have the only key to the house and all windows/door have been secured. Perhaps then they calm down, they will come to understand where they went wrong. For the immediate time, we are unreasonable etc. Which is okay, we know the truth. . .
The savings in the bills between now and the wedding should be enough to pay for the hall that we are renting for the wedding and reception.

Last night at 11:15 or so Gigglez, Bree and I stood in the kitchen and I simply said “shhh… Listen to that…” all you could hear was the water running through the filter on the aquarium, so peaceful.
Gigglez will be worried about her baby duck I am sure, but I think it is all for the best. Over the next few days, things will start getting easier for her. Bree is back to her dad’s for this week so the house will be silent. We will start making repairs to the house, patching all of the holes in the walls and the doors (will have to be replaced) from Kizody’s temper tantrum.

(Thanks go to those who let me vent last night)

One of many giving what they can to help kids have a better life

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One of my co-workers is taking a step to raise funds for a good cause.

He is raising funds for St Baldricks. The St. Baldrick’s Foundation is a volunteer-driven charity committed to funding the most promising research to find cures for childhood cancers and give survivors long and healthy lives.

In addition to his time, and money, he is giving his hair.

His hair goes to the cause next month.

 

If you are in a position to help, please consider using this link for more information .

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stbaldricks.org%2Fparticipants%2Fmypage%2Fparticipantid%2F526383&h=9AQHcQNBy

Additional words from Butch:
The cause is a very worthy one. We have all been touched by cancer in one way or another, and the thought of a child having to go through this is mind numbing. It takes away their childhood and in most cases destroys the family’s finances and the dreams they had for the child. Research has increased the chances of survival greatly and more and more children are able to beat their illness, but the fight for a cure for all types of cancer continues and it requires funding.

Should Affirmative Action for state university enrollment be continued?

This is more than should it have been used in the first place (kind of like the war in Iraq, we are already there (yes, I am aware we have withdrawn now)).

This is whether or not we should keep affirmative action in schools. (Employment may be a question later)

Trayvon Martin Bullshit

This seems to be an issue that is divided along a few lines.

  • Race
  • stance on guns
  • stance on community involvement
  • mandates on the police

I have only read a few articles on the subject, so I am still assessing the situation.

So many are upset that there has not been an arrest. Here in Washington, there is only one crime that police are required to arrest on, and it isn’t murder.

Domestic violence is the only crime that the police do not have latitude (technically).

Happy Birthday Shogun Koga

Well twenty years ago my son decided that he was done cooking and was ready to see the world.

His mom is five foot and a quarter inch (God help you if you forget the quarter inch, at that height you fight for everything you can get) and most know my build. Well the docs had to do an emergency c-section to free the little guy from his biological prison. Seemed like she was trying to take a Freightliner across a pedestrian bridge.

We have had our trials and tribulations over the years, but he is an extremely bright and insightful young man.

He is still grasping the concept of brevity when it comes to the subjects of Japan, Japanese culture, or weapons. 🙂

He has gotten a job, and is going to college, I am hopeful ,proud, and by God I love him!

 

Happy birthday son!

 

Do curfews keep teens out of trouble?

There are plenty of jurisdictions that have curfews for minors.

Do they EVER work? Are they enforced?

Are they effective  for society or the families of the teens?

should teen dads be forced to stay out of sports or other extra cirriculars until the mother is back to school?

I think the title pretty much covers the question.

Not much to add.

Does access to a rubber prevent teen preggers

How does the level of availability of rubbers effect the pregnancy rate?

Will they use them if they are easy to get? Or will they decide that bareback is better and take their chances?

 

Re-worded the title to help with filters.