Sextortion – are you aware of it?

As so many are flocking to cell phones and the ages of the users are getting younger, there is a topic that parents need to be aware of.

Sextortion is a form of sexual exploitation that employs non-physical forms of coercion to extort sexual favors from the victim. Sextortion refers to the broad category of sexual exploitation in which abuse of power is the means of coercion, as well as to the category of sexual exploitation in which threatened release of sexual images or information is the means of coercion.[1]

We as a society need to be able to band together to combat this psychological attack against our youth. 83% of the victims are female, and 46% are minors. Like physical sexual assault, it is estimated that only a third or less of the victims report the crime. 60% of the perpetrators knew the victim before the incident.

I have reviewed the evidence of one of these cases personally. No, I will not share that data as the victim does not deserve that. The portrayal below is based on that incident but is sanitized for her privacy. This was properly reported to the appropriate authorities.

Here is how this abuse occurred:

  • Victim received a text from an unknown source
  • criminal claimed that they had nude photos of the victim
  • They also recited her street address, including which room within her apartment was hers
  • the pictures were going to be shared on all forms of social media unless she complied with the criminal
  • the criminal wanted her to disrobe for more pictures
  • on a the second day the criminal resumed texting with a more aggressive tone
  • the same intent of getting more pictures
  • Criminal escalated to calling the victim and pressuring her to an online video chat service in Scandinavia (I believe in Norway) to excuse herself from family to go to a bathroom to disrobe and put herself on display.

As I and my colleagues tried to trace the evidence and find the personal data exposure, we were impressed with the victim’s awareness of protecting her data. She does not have her college address shared with any databases other than Amazon, and even they did not have which room was hers.

Text messages are very hard to trace unless you are law enforcement. Even for them, they are not easy. Because of my role, I was able to provide the FBI with the owner (not the user) of the phone numbers used to text and call the victim.  I was also able to  alert the abuse team at the video chat service so that they could review the actions of their users. Since I did not have a subpoena, I was unable to get data to relay to the FBI.

When the victim returned to campus, she found that her roommates were also victims. Since the issue was clearly involving a local perp, the apartment management was advised. They had a very lame excuse that this was a data breach when someone restarted the internet. I am still stunned with how stupid this answer is. The apartment management company did say that seven women had come forward. This number ended up rising to twenty when published by a local media source. The article was a plea for other victims to come forward. It is my personal opinion that the apartment complex has a rogue employee that needs to be identified, arrested, and prosecuted. So far this particular incident is limited to the complex.

When I asked if the abuse has continued, the victim stated that there has not been a peep since the police report was filed. The situation is getting great exposure on campus so the student body is much more aware.

If you check the links below, you will find that this situation is not isolated, but becoming more and more common.

Parents need the same level of awareness. This is the tool that you need to arm your kids (regardless of how grown that they are) so that they can fend off these pond scum samples.

Obviously the first line is to make sure that they do not have these kinds of pictures TO BE shared in the first place. I also know that this is wishful thinking, just like abstaining from sex before committed relationships. It is talking to them so that they know if they do not have content for the criminals to share, then why co-operate with their demands. Do not delete the texts, call logs or any other evidence. The local police (and likely the FBI) need to be contacted. Take the time to file the report. The perp needs to be caught. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Even if your kids DID have content that could be exposed, this is not the time to blame the victim. They did nothing to deserve this. My thought is to treat that situation as you would when your kid calls form a party/bar after drinking. Get them to safety then discuss when it is more mentally safe to do so. If your kids know without a doubt that you will stand with them, then they will be more likely to tell you of the incident so you can help them through it.

I hope that nobody that you know has to go through this, but the numbers indicate that it will hit close to home.

Related useful links:

Prosecutors: ‘Sextortion’ Cases Targeting Young Women At Alarming Rate


Artificial Intelligence and Sex

A couple of times a day as part of my job, I flip through my Twitter feed looking for the emergence of cyber security threats. Sometimes, some of the entertainment/technology feeds bring some fun topics.

It is expected that very soon, 2025 I think, we will be faced with a series or ethical and legal dilemmas.

We are about to enter an age that will include robotic involved sex.


Yes, we current;y have a phenomenal amount of toys, photos, videos, etc. There are those that have opted to include console games for their sexual pleasure as well.

Now, as artificial intelligence, cyberskin, and robotics march down this road, how long will it be before we will have to look at legal issues?


Currently in Washington, there are two or more parties; one the prostitute, and the john(s). The johns being the simple customer of the prostitute, fine. The prostitute must be a person to meet the other part of the crime. So if the pimp is offering up a bevy of robotic beauties, where is the crime? The viable objection to prostitution has always been the victimization of the sex worker. Once you take the person out of the equation, what do you have? Just the moral aspect of a married person? what is they are single?

To criminalize the act, you would have to make an AI robotic a person. That seems legally almost as intriguing as the ethical/moral aspects.

Are we ready to give computerized devices rights?


Ashley Madison – really?

Since the media is saturated, why not add my two cents worth?

As a cyber security professional I may view things a little differently.

So we have a site (others as well) that caters to cheating. Is it  a shock? It shouldn’t be, there are sites for pretty much everything.

As you probably already have gathered via that media saturation as the world things that this is FAR more important than any other world issue a site that is devoted to aiding people in cheating on those that they love. That site was broken into OR had an insider blow the whistle on the whole shebang.  At this point there are some clues that lead us to believe that the breach revealed far too much to be the result of a break in. That the data is too complete.

so we have:

  • a breech of security

The breach may have been an inside job, so that is an interesting series of bit in my feeds. (@Pissed0ffPirate (that is a zero) if you want to follow me on Twitter)

  • release of confidential material

We get to see a list of people who are not so smart. This list has people who never thought of the worst, are naive, or just plain dumb. We are seeing claims of those who claim that they were set up. I suppose that it is possible that they could have been, only the individual would know the truth.

  • suicides

As of today, I am aware of three suicides being attributed to the release of the data. Is this worth ending one’s life? (I think I have a suicide post around here somewhere) Why not either fix your relationship or move on and try for a new one?

  • lawsuits

We are seeing legal actions already starting. I don’t know how many of these will remain individual actions or if they will be forced into one or a few class action lawsuits.

  • sextortion

For those that made the decision to wander this path, and someone tries to extort or blackmail you… just fess up. Your spouse/significant other is going to find out. No doubt about it. Just step up and work through it. (you may have to end it, but at least you don’t have the stress or financial losses)

  • further relationship issues

At some point down the road, there will be studies and surveys that will show how many relationship and families were affected by this, but right now it is too early to tell.

  • potential FTC action

With Ashley Madison defrauding it’s clients with fake female accounts and poor cyber security practices will the FTC have a field day with their sorry asses?

Since the courts have just given the FTC that authority, I am expecting tremendous scrutiny and fines.

  • issues I have forgotten or did not think of

some of the data is showing 20 million guys checked their Ashley Madison email, but only 1492 women did… those are some really slim odds of getting tail. that tail also has to be really tired and like tossing that hot dog down a hallway. With the site creating a ton of bogus accounts to give the semblance of women to meet, it seems like plain fraud and dirty pool. Remember that I see quite a bit of spam for other sites and the names  and locations change for the women’s images. We know that there have been cases where pictures of women have been harvested from the web/facebook and used by these types of sites.

As a man, I have a pretty strong belief that any near average or better woman that would like to spend some time between the sheets (or on/in  a car, stairwell, rooftop, back yard, wherever) with a man, all they need to do is let it be known and they could even take auditions if they wanted.

Can homosexuality be an adaptive behavior?

Before I start, this is not a debate on being gay as a choice or birth in general. This is a discussion on a specific scenario.


I was in the “outdoors research center” at the office with a friend was relaying a situation with a relative.

The relative (let’s call her Lisa for simplicity) is a big girl.

She is also young, a minor in fact and she likes boys.

The downside is that her perception, real or not, is that her weight leaves her unattractive to those boys.

In this process of desire and lack of reciprocation she has decided that she is lesbian, bi-sexual at least.

This brought me to wonder if and how often people (I suspect predominantly women) choose by being adaptive to be gay.

While I am supportive of the community, I am not a member so I am quite a bit out of the loop. Perhaps some of our friends may have more insight to share on this.

Do you know people in this situation? (are YOU in a similar situation?)

Do they seem happy in general or does there seem to be a longing to spend their time and intimacy with someone of the opposite gender.

Has anyone seen any studies on this aspect of homosexuality?


Sexuality discussion from Facebook

This topic comes to us from the Facebook page:

I think we all know that it is far tougher for a lady to achieve an orgasm.

There are some obvious mechanics that need to be fulfilled to allow the ladies to acheive what we men can achieve with ease, sometimes with too damn much ease.

I think this post will be looking at three sub topics:
1 – Are you able to achieve an orgasm?
2 – If you are, what helps you get there more easily?
3 – For those that cannot have an orgasm with your lover, do you finish yourself off (either openly or privately) afterwards?

Truth in advertising

Yes I am a man…

Over the last number of years I have been noticing a trend in the bra market to enhance and take away from my enjoyment.

Ladies, you have what God gave you. A bra such as the Wonderbra may seem like a good idea, but remember when you take it off, you are still left with what God gave you.

These types of bras may give the appearance of a better shape or size which is fine if it makes you feel better about yourself. If it is done as an enticement, it is a let down when you finally get him home. More than likely he figured it out before you got to that truly intimate time though. I suspect that you wouldn’t like it much if you unzipped him and found his shape was simply a well placed athletic sock.

If you are wearing them as an enticement, keep in mind that we like to see a more natural motion. All that padding keeping the temperatures moderated… sigh… well we lose the pleasure of the unmentionable erect nipples that many (is not most) women find to be embarrassing. Now that may be an embarrassment that is born of (a feminine) societal pressure, and we have become accustomed to it. R101 will likely chime in on this, if not, I understand. 🙂

Of course there is the side that will take the stance that they are spoken for and they are not dressing for US, they are dressing for their men. Generally speaking, that is bullshit. We see it all the time, women dressing in a way that accentuated what they have, or the tiny dermal piercing at the top of their cleavage… Ladies, if you put that dermal piercing there, you no long have the right to bitch about my noting that it is there. Your cleavage at that point is on display with limelight.

Again, I am a man. I will enjoy the show that you put on for us. I will likely be discreet so that I do not offend. I am also known the quietly whisper into your ear that you look very nice, or attractive. It is not a come on, but an observation with no intent to creep you out or to be taken as sexual harassment.

Ladies, let the girls be who they want to be and who they are. More often than not we don’t care if they are large or small, lopsided what have you. We just enjoy them as they are. You can hide them if you like, but we would rather that you not.

Be honest with yourself, and the men who adore you how you are, whether you know they do or not.

Major over-reaction. Alot of flap about 50 Shades of Grey

Sometimes the headlines yield some odd bits, but can dovetail into a better bigger discussion.

How many in our group and around have read 50 Shades? I know Gigglez has.

At the beginning it looked like a case of bad publicity was good publicity. It seemed as though the books would have slid quietly under the radar had the conservative crowd just let it all go.

As usual we saw a big to-do made. Gigglez seemed to follow Stephen King’s philosophy on the series. King said that if they want to ban a book, the first thing you should do is go read the book and find out what they are wanting to prevent you from reading. She whipped through the trilogy in no time (thank you Nook).

This series has outsold Harry Potter, to be the fastest selling paperback of all time.

I have heard and seen references to the trilogy as it is the long sought after owners manual for women.

This book is on my list of “to-read’s”.

Gigglez and I took a walkabout in Portland, and happened to give ourselves a 50 Shades tour. several points of interest form the books. Spartacus had a list of goodies from the books with quotes of their use. There appears to be a shortage of Ben Wa balls and other tool/toys.

I am not sure if I agree with Time listing E. L. James as one of the “100 Most Influential People in the World”. That seems a bit of a reach. But welcome to mommy-porn, perhaps it IS that influential after all.

What have you been seeing on the 50 Shades subject? Has it opened your eyes to different views, given you more reason to play differently?

Oh not to mention what started this post…

Loser seems to have gotten a bit upset… I wonder if he really KNEW anything about the series or not, or is he just another repressed fuqtard. I cannot see how that reaction is anywhere near reason. It did not sound like she left him over it though. Dump his stupid ass lady!


I was trying to keep the last few posts health related as we prepare for Food Revolution Day…
Lets call this relationship, sexual, psychological, and emotional health related.
For those of us that have been married or in serious relationships, we know that we need to keep things fresh.
We have to break out of our habits.
This weekend, Gigglez is stealing me away. (One of you knows where she is taking me)
I will be getting up not too long after this post hits the page.
She is not saying where we are going, she will give directions from the passenger seat.
My online calendar says that the event is a surprise and that the location is “not telling”.
Yes, I am quite excited for our getaway. There will be no electronics permitted except to listen for a phone call from Bree since she is returning from a band trip.
After we arrive at our destination, I will get access to my GPS for some geocaching, but I don’t know who much I will get to do.
To avoid any disappointment, my guess that we are entering a line dancing contest or that it is a Elvis impersonator contest is being accepted(I only like the Elvis classics and can go into that in more detail later if need be) The first night is mostly for her, and Sunday is for me… Who know, well an unnamed individual here knows and (thankfully) is keeping the secret.

So for the topic, what have you, your spouse, lover, significant other done to keep things fresh? It isn’t ALL about breaking furniture with your antics, what has been done to make sure that each of you is not getting tired of the same old routines?

What sexual postion do you ENJOY the most?

This is not a poll asking what position you use most often, but what gives you the most pleasure or satisfaction.
Maybe the two are different, let’s find out.