What is the controversy in 13 Reasons Why?

Over the last couple of days Gigglez and I have binge watched “13 Reasons Why” (https://www.netflix.com/title/80117470). The general premise is simple, yet quite complex.  A high school junior commits suicide, but before she does, records a series of audio tapes. These tapes involve all of those that contributed to her decision to end her life. Each person on the tapes are to listen to them and pass them onto the next person.

I think that this may be the most important series that I have watched in quite some time. The level of passion in the work harkens back to Dead Poets Society. Reaching deeply into the high school minds.

I am a fan of what Stephen King says about banned or censored works:

“Censorship and the suppression of reading materials are rarely about family values and almost always about control about who is
snapping the whip, who is saying no, and who is saying go. Censorship’s bottom line is this: if the novel Christine offends me, I don’t want just to make sure it’s kept from my kid; I want to make sure it’s kept from your kid, as well, and all the kids. This bit of intellectual arrogance, undemocratic and as old as time, is best expressed this way: “If it’s bad for me and my family, it’s bad for everyone’s family.”

Yet when books are run out of school classrooms and even out
of school libraries as a result of this idea, I’m never much disturbed not as a citizen, not as a writer, not even as a schoolteacher . . . which I used to be. What I tell kids is, Don’t get mad, get even. Don’t spend time waving signs or carrying petitions around the neighborhood. Instead, run, don’t walk, to the nearest nonschool library or to the local bookstore and get whatever it was that they banned. Read whatever they’re trying to keep out of your eyes and your brain, because that’s exactly what you need to know.” 
― Stephen King

So, as controversy is starting to stir, we decided to see why. What is the idea that “they” did not want us to see?  Was it the sex, drugs, suicide, free thought, bullying, or what? The negative press is asserting that the show is somehow condoning suicide, rape, drugs, and alcohol.  We simply did not find that to be the case. We found it to be illuminating the problems rather than glorifying them.

This series draws you in tightly with a broad spectrum of demographics and personalities. The cast was convincing in their roles.  Their portrayals caused emotional response and reflection for me.  It may be too hot of a topic for the various award giving entities to give the appropriate accolades.

Katherine Langford plays the role of the girl who chose to end her life. The life, death, and everything in between had such vibrancy it was the girl next door.

Dylan Minnette, the male lead, pulled of his role to such quality that it had me thinking of my youth. Back came the memories of the girls that I wished that I had the courage to approach. The cheerleader in math class, everyday taunting my middle school mind.

I think the one who stood out most for me was Kate Walsh. She played the grieving mother, struggling to come to terms with what happened with her cherished daughter. Why did she lose her daughter and could there have been anything that she or the school could have done to prevent it.  I could see in her the pain of all of the mothers who have lost a child. I have enjoyed her work since Gray’s Anatomy, but this role was far beyond the characters that I have seen her in before.  I know that she has kids, and that may have been part of what propelled the emotional buy-in that we saw. It was an utterly stunning role to see her play out.

As the series unfolds and we see more and more of the factors come to light it is difficult to watch as you know what is about to happen.  I am being mindful of spoilers so there is much more that I would like to say, but, it would be better for you to watch for yourself.  The episodes delve into areas that we wish did not exist, and for some, pretend that they don’t.  Guess what people, kids are mean, bullies exist, sex is had (consensual and rape), drugs and alcohol gets consumed.  When you watch this series (and I hope that you do if you have the strength) take the time to watch the follow-up episode.  The breakdown of the rationale for the way that certain scenes were carried out was quite valuable.

My wife and I were both reminded of those that we lost in our youth. The names, and faces from the past. We lost people, almost lost people and have had some that we reached out to when we were worried. In the end we cannot help but wonder how many times we missed a friend in need.  We also have to think about how something we may have said, or NOT said could have nudged someone to a darker place without meaning to, or realizing it.

Where does this leave our society? We need to be more thoughtful in how we interact and raise our kids. We have to be open, mindful, watchful, and communicative.  It is too bad that we cannot instill the golden rule upon our kids and have it stick with them for their entire lives. We are not perfect, nor are our kids.

 

One school shooting you WON’T see on the national stage or in the media.

The best way to deal with a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun.

http://bearingarms.com/good-guy-with-a-gun-armed-school-officer-stopped-arapahoe/

 

So why won’t the media give praise to this officer, when they are more than willing to condemn gun owners for one persons actions when it isn’t stopped quickly?

Childhood sexuality – what is abnormal at four and five?

There is a case about a pre-school in California being shut down for lack of supervision.
Okay I get that part, we must have our children watched properly.

Let’s get something out there right off the bat… I am not advocating sexual abuse, let alone abusing kids. This disussion or more on sexuality in general.

Part of what I don’t get, and I hope that someone among us is better trained to asner my other questions, is the sexual aspects that were in play.

These four and five year old children woudl engage in frequent oral sex.
People are freaking out over it and I just want a better understanding.
Our culture has expectations on when one is old enough to start engaging in sexual encounters.

My education in psycology is limited to my Psych 101 class, anything beyond that is just general readon and observation. So, I am NOT qualified to do more an theorize about the situation.

We know that humans are sexual creatures. Sexuality starts long before adults want it to. Masturbation begins in diapers. We expect (or dream for) our daughters to be virginal until marriage in their 20-30’s.

As I read ABC’s article, they mentioned how these kids are being sexualized too early and “That their lives will be ruined in many ways.” Really? ruined? No, the parents are over-reacting, if the kids were being urged to engage in these behaviors, or were being shown how, I would have a much different stance on this.

“During nap time, the aides would be sleeping and the children would have been molesting each other during this time.” When it is age appropriate (referring to the difference in age between the parties, not the behavior itself) is it really molesting? Since it sounds like it was all consensual within the group. We of course have laws that dictate when consent can apply. My discussion here is more on the kids themselves. They are in an innocent age, and they do not know shame yet. They have not been indoctinated in what is acceptable and what is not yet. They are pure little humans.

WHile we want to guide them out of this behavior, and to follow our social expectations, is this situation getting blown (forgive the inintentional pun please) way out of proportion.

I would really appreciate the input of more qualified individuals in the areas of child psycology and early human development/education to bring more persppective on this. I would also like to hear from preschool educators on how often they have to redirect kids for trying to explore in this direction.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/sexual-encounters-allegedly-everyday-thing-students-california-preschool/story?id=18402570

Paranoia May Destroy Ya!

How is it that we have become so paranoid that the word surprise has to take on a negative connotation?

Obviously the situations in Connecticut, and Oregon have people concerned, and things like the Patriot Act show us what we do when we do not act carefully in stressful situations.

We have a boy in Georgia who was going to surprise his classmates and in response he got suspended.

He had let a teacher know of his plans to come dressed as Santa Claus, so I find the school’s reaction to be inappropriate.

Principle Mike Campbell, shame the fuck on you! I thought that our school leaders were supposed to be level headed, not empty headed and reactionary.

 

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/student-plans-come-school-santa-confused-violent-threat-174737767.html

So Santa Can’t Have Freedom of Expression?

Here is one that may end up on the Shitlist…

The city of Austin Texas has chosen to decided to jail Santa Claus for Criminal Mischief and possibly Resisting Arrest.

What was the transgression? Asking children to write their Christmas wishes with sidewalk chalk.

 

We have seen other cities pull of this panty-waisted bullshit, but it does not make it right. How shriveled must your balls be to jail Santa for something so petty?

 

Not only do we the people have the right to expression, KIDS have the right as well.

Their innocents dreams and wishes are above the every day stresses that the adults deal with. For the officers to pull this kind of crap against Santa right before Christmas is pretty fucked up. Don’t they have enough on their plate right now?

 

http://occupyaustin.org/2012/12/freesanta-rally/

An Eye for an Eye

So a 11 year old and a friend cut several inches of hair from a 3 year old girl in Utah.

This ended up in court when the defendant was 13.

The defendant was sentenced to 30 days in detention and 276 hours of community service. The judge said that he would not want his own daughter to spend time on the work crew so he offered to reduce the time but 150 hours if the defendant would cut her hair.

The victim’s mother, after seeing some hair removed felt that justice would have been better served if more hair were removed. The judge then  order the ponytail be cut to the rubber band.

The defendant’s mother has since filed a complaint against the judge saying:

“I felt very intimidated. An eye for an eye, that is not how you teach kids right from wrong.”

BULLSHIT!

Valerie Bruno, you had a choice that day. You could have declined the offer and let your little bitch do the time.

I certainly understand that you wanted to make the penalty on her as easy as you could, but you accepted the deal.

Now you want to bitch and moan about it. Fuck off!

To his honor Scot Johansen, my hat is off to you sir. May you remain in your robes as long as you see fit. On the juvenile level, the judiciary needs to remain creative to guide the youth back into a better path. We are talking about hair here, it will grow back and in the mean time it will be a reminder.

To Mindy Moss, you get a loud and blunt shut the fuck up! I did not see what you got for the harassment charges against the other girl, but you and your mom will likely whine about that too.

The Young – Horman suit

Well thanks to Reality101 we have a copy of the lawsuit that Desiree Young has filed against Terri Horman.
This link has been added to the most recent Kyron webpage (http://www.pissedoffpirate.com/index.php/kyron-horman/desiree-young-drags-terri-and-kyron-horman-back-into-the-headlines/)

 

This is the link to the full text of the 10 million dollar complaint.

http://katubim.s3.amazonaws.com/Terri%20Horman%20Lawsuit.pdf

One of many giving what they can to help kids have a better life

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One of my co-workers is taking a step to raise funds for a good cause.

He is raising funds for St Baldricks. The St. Baldrick’s Foundation is a volunteer-driven charity committed to funding the most promising research to find cures for childhood cancers and give survivors long and healthy lives.

In addition to his time, and money, he is giving his hair.

His hair goes to the cause next month.

 

If you are in a position to help, please consider using this link for more information .

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.stbaldricks.org%2Fparticipants%2Fmypage%2Fparticipantid%2F526383&h=9AQHcQNBy

Additional words from Butch:
The cause is a very worthy one. We have all been touched by cancer in one way or another, and the thought of a child having to go through this is mind numbing. It takes away their childhood and in most cases destroys the family’s finances and the dreams they had for the child. Research has increased the chances of survival greatly and more and more children are able to beat their illness, but the fight for a cure for all types of cancer continues and it requires funding.

Bullies

We are seeing a huge push to stamp out bullying.

Bullying is human nature, is it good? I see no reason for it to be good for anyone, even the bullies.

Do we need to add another layer of laws to address the bullies behaviors? Don’t the existing laws cover it?

Or are our kids so pampered that we cannot let little Johnnie Or Jenni handle situations on their own? Can we not teach them how to handle those situations?

What is going to happen with they get out into the world and have tough things happen to them?

Our kids need to be raised to have a spine…

Happy Birthday Shogun Koga

Well twenty years ago my son decided that he was done cooking and was ready to see the world.

His mom is five foot and a quarter inch (God help you if you forget the quarter inch, at that height you fight for everything you can get) and most know my build. Well the docs had to do an emergency c-section to free the little guy from his biological prison. Seemed like she was trying to take a Freightliner across a pedestrian bridge.

We have had our trials and tribulations over the years, but he is an extremely bright and insightful young man.

He is still grasping the concept of brevity when it comes to the subjects of Japan, Japanese culture, or weapons. 🙂

He has gotten a job, and is going to college, I am hopeful ,proud, and by God I love him!

 

Happy birthday son!