A collection of Fool’s Errands

You know, over the years I have heard some great fool’s errands. You know the fun (hopefully harmless) pranks to send new folks after this or that…

For the life of me, I can only remember some. I would like to start collecting them on this page.

As you drop them in comments, I will get them added to the page.


Air Force:

Sending an airman to get a gallon of prop wash



Sending a seaman for 50 feet of shore line

Sending a seaman for a can of remover

Thanks to a co-worker… a naval enlisted man was sent for fallopian tubing, I am betting that he didn’t find any.


For the service industry:

‘Tile Check’ – give them a plunger and told them to check for loose tiles

inappropriate discussions

So in my office there are very inappropriate discussions.

one co-worker broke out in the theme from Bonanza but ended it with dildo…

I asked if it was with a suction cup or without. He seemed confused as to why it mattered. one is much better for use on the shower wall than the other.

The Bonanza singer lost it. I then piped up with that it was just a towel holder. Poor bystander bowed his head chucking as he blushed.

An odd question by Griz

Yesterday Gigglez (@Mrs_PissedOffPirate) and I were in IKEA and found that they were running off of what I assumed is there touted solar panels. They will running minimal systems due to a power outage on the east side of 205 (for the locals).
We passed by a table where the table and legs were sold separately. okay… it got me to wonder in my tangential mind…

If I were to strike a person with a table leg, would I be hitting them or kicking them?

Funny shit I have gotten from the GOP

Okay as Obamacare goes before SCOTUS, I get this email from some junk mail:

“Dear fellow conservative:”  My friends do not refer to me that way, in fact most of them would find that quite funny in itself.

Further down it says:

“The Supreme Court is preparing to decide the fate of ObamaCare and we’re sending thousands of signatures to the Court with one clear voice: End ObamaCare Now.”

At what point did the Supreme Court give a shit about our feelings about an issue when they decided it? Did I miss some change in the court where the Court was not just looking to the Constitution and it’s intent on resolving an issue?


years ago I worked in a mass mailing print shop. I was in Computer Operations printing junk mail on forms was one of my tasks. A print job came in from the GOP that was a campaign funds letter. It was saying that they needed XXX dollar as “your fair share” for their campaign.  I saw fair shares that ranged from double digits to five digits.

That always made me wonder about the GOP definition of fair share.



Funny ass thing that I overheard

I heard a young man ask his sister if she had a pair of balls that he could borrow.

I lost it. I knew that he meant that he was looking for spherical earrings, but it was funnier the way that I heard it.