A collection of Fool’s Errands

You know, over the years I have heard some great fool’s errands. You know the fun (hopefully harmless) pranks to send new folks after this or that…

For the life of me, I can only remember some. I would like to start collecting them on this page.

As you drop them in comments, I will get them added to the page.


Air Force:

Sending an airman to get a gallon of prop wash



Sending a seaman for 50 feet of shore line

Sending a seaman for a can of remover

Thanks to a co-worker… a naval enlisted man was sent for fallopian tubing, I am betting that he didn’t find any.


For the service industry:

‘Tile Check’ – give them a plunger and told them to check for loose tiles

inappropriate discussions

So in my office there are very inappropriate discussions.

one co-worker broke out in the theme from Bonanza but ended it with dildo…

I asked if it was with a suction cup or without. He seemed confused as to why it mattered. one is much better for use on the shower wall than the other.

The Bonanza singer lost it. I then piped up with that it was just a towel holder. Poor bystander bowed his head chucking as he blushed.

An odd question by Griz

Yesterday Gigglez (@Mrs_PissedOffPirate) and I were in IKEA and found that they were running off of what I assumed is there touted solar panels. They will running minimal systems due to a power outage on the east side of 205 (for the locals).
We passed by a table where the table and legs were sold separately. okay… it got me to wonder in my tangential mind…

If I were to strike a person with a table leg, would I be hitting them or kicking them?

Word of the day: Skittletits

Yesterday my cube neighbor was trying to contain her laughter.

She was doing an admirable job, but she was reading autocorrects on dontpokethebear.com.

I looked over at one point and she was wiping away the tears.

A word had struck as particularly funny : Skittletits

This prompted a series of jokes and in our chatroom, up popped the line: Taste the rainbow.

Perhaps it should be motorboat the rainbow, but still…


What words strike you are funny?

Geek Pride Day

Okay, today is Geek Pride Day.

It is a home run for geeks:
It is Towel Day (You Dougles Admas fans), The anniversary of the release of Star Wars, Glorious 25 May from Discworld, and major geek factor for today’s date. . .
5 + 25 + 12 = 42

If you fail to grasp the significance of 42, then you may well have your geek union card revoked.

It’s 5+25+12=42! Do you know where your towel is? Grab your lilacs, towel, or pin & win loot: http://j.mp/KI2olG #GeekPrideDay

Funny shit I have gotten from the GOP

Okay as Obamacare goes before SCOTUS, I get this email from some junk mail:

“Dear fellow conservative:”  My friends do not refer to me that way, in fact most of them would find that quite funny in itself.

Further down it says:

“The Supreme Court is preparing to decide the fate of ObamaCare and we’re sending thousands of signatures to the Court with one clear voice: End ObamaCare Now.”

At what point did the Supreme Court give a shit about our feelings about an issue when they decided it? Did I miss some change in the court where the Court was not just looking to the Constitution and it’s intent on resolving an issue?


years ago I worked in a mass mailing print shop. I was in Computer Operations printing junk mail on forms was one of my tasks. A print job came in from the GOP that was a campaign funds letter. It was saying that they needed XXX dollar as “your fair share” for their campaign.  I saw fair shares that ranged from double digits to five digits.

That always made me wonder about the GOP definition of fair share.



In like a lion and out like a lamb

So for those of us in the Vancouver / Portland area, we were given a treat of snow when we got up this morning. (Unless you slept in, then you were on your own)

Gigglez would like to know if March came in like a lion because of the snow or was like a lamb since it was white and fluffy?

What say you?

Funny ass thing that I overheard

I heard a young man ask his sister if she had a pair of balls that he could borrow.

I lost it. I knew that he meant that he was looking for spherical earrings, but it was funnier the way that I heard it.